


Getting kicked off a train and other things to do on a Friday afternoon.

by daphnie_1



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Holidays, Trains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-27
Updated: 2012-01-27
Packaged: 2017-10-30 05:23:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/328193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daphnie_1/pseuds/daphnie_1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Now he's on some ridiculous trip to the country. As if there's anything worth seeing in the country - that's why it's the middle of no-where, isn't it?" - Sherlock and John take a trip. This does not go well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting kicked off a train and other things to do on a Friday afternoon.

**Author's Note:**

> This is set before 'The Great Game'. Internet cookies for anyone who can tell me why. See end of story for canon notes.

Sherlock crosses his arms and glances out the window. "I don't understand why we just couldn't fly!" he yells across the train carriage at John. He had texted John but he wasn't getting an answer. Trains, ugh, Sherlock hates trains. They're slow, dirty, and boring. At least flying would have been slightly quicker and less dull.

John yells back, "Because it's expensive!" Then there's a pause, "If you want to talk, come over here instead of sulking."

Sherlock uncrosses his arms to make the point that he isn't sulking. "I'm not moving. I'm 'ill', remember ? I might collapse."

Apparently, according to Doctor John Watson, Sherlock isn't well. Funny, Sherlock doesn’t recall making John his doctor. Sherlock doesn’t have a doctor. They're pointless. It's been a long case, granted, and it's taken quite a bit of energy, but he's fine. Sherlock had told John this, insisted he was fine, and John hadn't listened. "The country air will do you good Sherlock",John had informed him. Sherlock’s insistence had turned into complaining and moaning and he'd almost bloody won, but then he just had to go and collapse didn't he? Mycroft had seen fit to intervene after that and it had all gone badly from there.

Now he's on some ridiculous trip to the country. As if there's anything worth seeing in the country - that's why it's the middle of no-where, isn't it?

The woman sitting in front of Sherlock is trying to watch him through the back of her chair without making it obvious. This, of course, makes it the most obvious thing in the entire world. He smiles at her showing far too many teeth and she quickly turns away and stops looking at him. She's probably going to fail that job interview.

He's about to yell something else at John when one of the train staff walks between them through the carriage pushing a small trolley. He's new - shoes and uniform are far too tidy - and he asks Sherlock if he wants anything. Irish accent, probably Dublin. Sherlock doesn’t even look up before he says no. John ends up buying a couple of sandwiches.

Once the person is out the way John hurls one of the wrapped sandwiches at Sherlock. "If you’re ill, eat that then."

Sherlock turns to smirk at John, "Who’s being childish now?"

"Still you Sherlock. Still you."

John grabs his things and slumps across the carriage aisle to sit beside Sherlock. John sighs and Sherlock ignores him and goes back to looking out the window. There's a couple of minutes, and Sherlock can almost hear John counting in his head, it's almost deafening. Sherlock is about to tell him to shut up when John actually speaks.

"You collapsed, Sherlock. Doctor's tend to worry about that sort of thing."

That's enough to make Sherlock roll his eyes, even if it isn't quite enough to make him turn around and look at John. "Good job I never made you my doctor then."

Although Sherlock can't see him, he knows John has just rolled his eyes, too. "You know that caring thing we talked about? Yeah. Friends do that."

Sherlock wants to sigh, because really, John tends to just walk into these things. You would think he'd have gotten the hang of it by now, but apparently not. "Good job you’re not one of those, either."

John doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything, he just sits there. Then John starts to laugh. This is enough to make Sherlock turn from the window and look at him. John has spotted the writing that Sherlock's scrawled on the back of the seat in front of him and on the train wall. It's mostly random notes, observations, anything that had jumped into his head.

"The wall had it coming," Sherlock offers, because it did. "And, you should have let me bring my violin."

They had argued about the violin. Apparently, playing one on a train is considered rude, strange ideas that people come up with, not that Sherlock cares. So John had insisted that the violin went in Sherlock’s suitcase, the suitcase Sherlock had refused to bring, because well, what did he actually need? Apart from his laptop, of course.

"Oh god no," John mutters, far too amused by the writing to actually argue.

Sherlock flicks open his laptop and tries the wi-fi. Still out. Of course it is. He closes the lid with a sigh. At least it might have been something to distract him.

"I think I've figured out your whole deduction thing."

Sherlock looks up from his laptop at John. "Oh? Do enlighten me.”

John nods, with a slight smile, "I can tell you why you collapsed."

It's not exactly the most stellar piece of deduction that John could ever engage in, especially considering that he already happens to know the answer. Somewhat takes the fun out of it.

Sherlock tilts his head to the side, "Medical diagnosis? Dull. Not the same thing."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"You’re not sure about anything."

"I'm sure that it wasn't lack of food. You have eaten during this case - too long not to. I'm also sure that you've slept, even if the sofa isn't the best place for it. It's nothing serious because I checked you over, even if you complained bitterly. So, one answer. Well, not just one but the most obvious one. Anemia - mild case." John shrugs as if this answer is the most obvious thing in the world, which, of course, it is. "Most likely dietary considering the way you eat."

"That is not the same." Sherlock answers, followed by "Then there was absolutely no reason to drag me on this sorry excuse for a holiday."

John grins at him. Grins."Well I could do with a holiday, never mind you."

Sherlock is about to answer, but is cut off by a conductor calling from further down the carriage. "Tickets from London! All tickets from London."

John starts scrabbling around frantically for his and Sherlock just sighs again. John apparently finds his ticket because he stops searching through his bag. Of course Sherlock could have told him where the ticket was.

John looks at him and Sherlock makes a vague gesture towards his coat which is about somewhere and returns to looking out the window. John pointedly doesn’t sigh but goes and gets Sherlock's ticket anyway.

The conductor stops beside them, shares some small talk with John, checks their tickets, and is just about to leave when she spots the wall.

"Was that you?" the conductor asks Sherlock. People have that horrible habit of asking questions they think they know the answer to. Sherlock turns round from the window and shoots the conductor his best smile. "I forgot my notebook, you know how it is."

John cuts in before either of them speaks again. "Don't. Just, I'll handle this Sherlock." He gives the conductor his best sheepish smile. "Sorry, I'll make sure to get it wiped off before we leave."

Which will be a miracle. Because it's permanent ink. But John might get annoyed if he mentions that little fact.

"Whatever you say,darling," Sherlock chips in, his voice bright.

The conductor blinks. And then she blinks again. "I'm sorry..." and she glances down at the tickets, "Doctor Watson, but you and your partner will have to leave at the next stop. Vandalizing company property is against the conditions of carriage." She doesn't sound annoyed, more confused. It’s not often you have to kick a doctor off a train, after all.

John sighs. "He's not... We're just friends."

Sherlock pouts. "I don't know why you always say that. It always makes me think you’re ashamed of me." Then he smiles at the conductor, "He's always so shy."

The conductor smiles at him warmly, clearly she likes him, "You’re still going to have to leave at the next stop, I'm afraid. We can't have people writing on the walls."

This is not the first time Sherlock has been kicked off a train. This time, it's not even first class. How dull. At least the last time had involved something slightly more interesting than him writing on something. But, well, the world is not quite ready for that particular tale.

"I completely understand, won't happen again." Sherlock assures her.

She walks away and Sherlock smirks at John.

"I just," John says, his voice low, "I hate you."

"Obviously."

John starts gathering up their things. They could risk staying on the train after the next stop but, well, it might not be the best idea. The police might get involved and it's all far too much fuss for a 'holiday' Sherlock doesn’t want to go on anyway.

There's a beep as John's phone goes off. And another as Sherlock's goes off straight after. "How...how does your brother know we got kicked off the train?"

Sherlock makes a dismissive gesture towards John and makes a point of not looking at his phone and the text Mycroft has sent him. "Mycroft makes it his specialty to know things and be annoying about it. Ignore him and he'll stop it."

The announcement tells them that they have another five minutes until the next station. Which is, apparently, Bournemouth. Delightful. John is taking this all fairly well considering, well, it's John, and is already making his way to the front of the carriage towards the exit doors. Despite the fact that no one else seems to be getting off at this stop - which, in Sherlock's opinion, says everything about Bournemouth that needs to be said.

Sherlock stands up from his seat and goes to stand beside John.

"This is the last time I ever go on holiday with you,” John tells him.

Sherlock allows himself a small smile, mostly to himself, "I will absolutely hold you to that."

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The original set up on the train (and Sherlock being tired from a case) is taken from the opening of The Adventure of the Reigate Squires but this story has no other similarities to that one. he scene with John and Sherlock talking about deduction is mostly inspired from the epically sweet How Watson Learned the Trick. The line "But, well, the world is not quite ready for that particular tale." is an echo of something Holmes says about The Giant Rat of Sumatra in The Adventure of the Sussix Vampire, namely, "It was a ship which is associated with the giant rat of Sumatra, a story for which the world is not yet prepared." The line "Mycroft makes it his specialty to know things and be annoying about it." is an echo of a line from The Adventure of the Bruce-Partington Plans (a name that might sound familiar :P) where Holmes tells Watson - in regards to Mycroft - that, "All other men are specialists, but his specialism is omniscience."


End file.
